<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>The Renaissance Faire by orphan_account</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29550048">The Renaissance Faire</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>RuPaul's Drag Race (US) RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, F/M, Food, Horseback Riding, Jousting, Multi, Sharon is the jousting announcer lady, Useless Lesbians, based off that one episode of king of the hill</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 20:20:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,182</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29550048</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Utica and friends go to the renaissance faire for a day of fun - until things go down when they see their sworn enemies, Gottmik and Kandy Muse! What will the super squad do in these troubling times?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Brooke Lynn Hytes/Vanessa Vanjie Mateo, Gigi Goode/Crystal Methyd, Gottmik/Kandy Muse, Tina Burner/Utica Queen, Trixie Mattel/Katya Zamolodchikova</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Renaissance Faire</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Utica, Tina, Brooke, Vanjie, Trixie, Katya, Gigi, and Crystal were all getting ready for the 69th Annual Renaissance Faire at 4 in the morning. Butter churning started at 5, and they all wanted to be there for that. They put on their renaissance inspired dresses, tights, and shoes, except for Vanjie who dressed up like a gremlin version of Rumpelstiltskin. </p><p>"Aight hoes less go." Vanjie ordered once everyone was ready and they hopped in Utica's 1960 Volkswagen 23-Window Samba Bus finished in show quality Mango and Pearlweiss with correct Mango interior (Saddle and White two-tone upholstery) and headed off to the Faire. Tina turned on The Wizard Of Oz soundtrack and it was lit AF in that bus.</p><p>"FOLLOW THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD!!!!" Everyone screamed along and busted it down because they were hot girls doin hot girl shit. Soon enough, they arrived and they all tumbled out of the bus.</p><p>"We're here, I can't believe it's that time of the year again~" Trixie whimsically said and Katya nodded, eating a fish head.</p><p>"Da. We go now, no?" The girls all nodded and they got their tickets ready. They walked up to the concession stand and standing there was none other than Silky Nutmeg Ganache, their favorite renaissance gal!</p><p>"Hi bishes. How y'all doin?" Silky took their tickets and Vanjie grunted and snorted.</p><p>"Oh, that means we're doing fantastic!" Crystal said and Gigi kissed her cheek. </p><p>"Swag." Silky said and put on their purple velvet and gold embellished wristbands.</p><p>"Y'all free to go in, have fun." The girls thanked her and the grandiose gates opened for them.</p><p>"C'mon guys, butter churning is over there!" They ran over and watched the demo before trying their hand at it. Utica looked around as she waited her turn, and gasp!</p><p>"Brooke, look!" Utica said, tapping on Brooke's shoulder.</p><p>"Oh sorry, I wasn't paying attention, eh."</p><p>"Not the butter, look who're at the axe throwing tent!" Brooke squinted her eyes before gasping.</p><p>"That... that's Gottmik and Kandy, eh?" Utica nodded.</p><p>"Eh is right. What should we do?!" Brooke sighed in a Canadian fashion and crossed her arms in thought.</p><p>"We could either avoid them at all costs, or confront them. Your choice, eh." Utica pressed her lips together.</p><p>"Let's just enjoy our day and if we happen to run into them, then we'll see what happens." Brooke nodded and went to churn butter. Utica could tell this wasn't gonna be any good. Once everyone had gotten to take their turn, Vanjie crouched down and licked the butter before speaking.</p><p>"So where y'all bitches wanna go next?"</p><p>"Umm, how about axe throwing since it's right there?" Gigi suggested and Vanjie nodded.</p><p>"Dat sound coo." Vanjie waddled over and the rest of the krusty krew walked over when - oh no!</p><p>"Utica and the fellow dorks... what are y'all doing here?" Gottmik the big meanie asked.</p><p>"Leave us alone, Mik!" Tina angrily said.</p><p>"Or what, bitch?" Kandy flipped her hair, smacking Gottmik in the face with it.</p><p>"Or... or... you'll regret it!" Trixie said, fists clenched. Gottmik and Kandy laughed, amused by Trixie's 'antics'.</p><p>"Right. We'll see you at the jousting competition." Vanjie rolled her eyes.</p><p>"We gon win dat truss and buhlieve." Gottmik and Kandy rolled their eyes in response and walked away. The girls put their little exchange to the back of their mind and went to axe throwing. Nobody was gonna stop their fun day!</p><p>-</p><p>By the time it was 5:30 pm, it was almost time for the jousting competition. The girls had played, sewn, crafted, danced, sung, and ate all day long and they were ready to finish it off with something truly exciting.</p><p>"Okay, we need to figure who's gonna go up against Mik and who's gonna go up against Kandy, eh." Brooke said, drinking maple syrup straight out the bottle.</p><p>"I be goin agains Gottmeek." Vanjie said, raising her goblin hand.</p><p>"Okay, Vanjie against Gottmik. Any volunteers for Kandy, eh?" The girls all stayed silent. Kandy was killer at jousting.</p><p>"I'll go against Kandy." Utica volunteered. She'd been jousting since she was 3 so she was a damn near pro. The girls looked at her with pride and they had good faith in her.</p><p>"Let's go grab your guys's horses and get you all suited up." Crystal said and so they went to the horse stables.</p><p>"Which one do you want, Vanjie?" Vanjie looked at them before grabbing the halter and lead rope for a big, black stallion.</p><p>"Dis one." Crystal smiled and nodded and turned to Utica.</p><p>"And you, Utica?" Utica found a beautiful little white mare and had to have her.</p><p>"I'll ride her!" Crystal nodded and they went over to suit up. Once they put on the metal outfits, they grabbed their foam swords and hopped on their horsies. </p><p>"Good luck, Vanjie. If anything happens, please know that I loved you like a sister." Utica got teary eyed and Vanjie just sat there.</p><p>"Bet." The intercom crackled and Sharon came on the air.</p><p>"Ooh hoo hoo! Weeeeelcum, to thee 69th Annualeee RenAIssAnce Fairrrre. Today, we have GottMIK! Versus Vaaaanjie, oohoo! And UUUUtica against the renowned Kandy Myewwwws! Happy jousting, boo!" Utica was started to feel the heat. You got this Utica, you're awesome at this. Don't let anyone get you down. She thought to herself.</p><p>"Vaaaanjie, GottMIK! Yew two boooooties are up furst!" Vanjie fist bumped Utica and Utica intently watched. Vanjie and Mik galloped full speed at each other and just as Vanjie was about to 'stab' Gottmik, Gottmik went low and knocked Vanjie off her horse! Utica gulped and her eyes widened. Gottmik wasn't even that good, how was Kandy gonna be?! Utica saw another horse enter the arena and the crowd went wild.</p><p>"Toooo baddddd Vanjie, maybe next year! Up next, Uuuuutica and Kandy Myewwwws! Gewd luck ghoulsssss!" Utica took a deep breath and squeezed her mare. She picked up the canter easily, but when Utica kicked, she went to the gallop from 0 to 100.</p><p>"We got this, we got this, we got this!" Utica lifted up her foam sword and raised it up high before swinging it down and 'cutting Kandy's head off'! Kandy fell to the ground the crowd cheered and hooted and hollered. Utica was the champion! She got off her pony and all her friends cheered her on, coming into the arena and hugging her.</p><p>"Connngratuuulations Uuuutica, you've won a $25 giftcard to The Outback Steakhouse and the horse you rode!" Utica smiled widely and took off her helmet and suit and jumped up and down.</p><p>-</p><p>Utica rode her horse home while Tina dropped everyone off in the 1960 Volkswagen 23-Window Samba Bus finished in show quality Mango and Pearlweiss with correct Mango interior (Saddle and White two-tone upholstery). Utica let her mare, named Princess Sparkles, sleep in her and Tina's room until the end of her days. Gottmik and Kandy shied away from the public eye after their defeat, and Utica rose to jousting stardom (she had a whole 192 followers on Instagram). She couldn't wait for the next faire!</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>